I'm only passing

I'd say it was a passing feeling,
but the feeling hasn't passed,
holding onto an emotion,
that I know is going to last,

trying to throw this heavy baggage,
off my, heavy, tired, shoulders,
time is moving slowly,
but I know I'm getting older,

I'm getting high off feeling shit,
the needle buried in my vein,
I've got to take just one more hit,
before I lose the game,

Rise, then fall, then lose it all,
scream until it hurts to breathe,
the devils heaven softly calls,
to hell we ride tonight,

It was from a porch

It was from a porch I stared,
wide eyed,
and vacant,
sweet disposition
filling my lonely soul,

Psychedelic sunset
and a blur
filled my mind,
my heart wailing
but my voice not;
knowing;
how to vocalise
the cacophony

They Fuck You Up

The slow flames of anger,
were quashed by the wind,
the fortress walls
were broken,

There is a happy chorus now,
that sings,
and the floodgates of joy,
are open

Crystal Dreams

Our love is like a crystal glass,
try and hold my hand as the distance attacks,
and we will fight against the pain,
as we are dancing in the rain,

and though I had expected the worst,
you pulled me through with your comfort and words,
held me close, in your arms,
and told things would be fine even though we were far


apart,
living in two different places,
trying to hold your hand,
while you were trying to fill the space,

and I knew,
my heart couldn’t take much of this,
this perpetual bliss,


Our hearts will beat together as one,
try not to act like the race is already run,
'cause we might need time for our hearts to mend,
and we will run, to the end

Time Apart

Is it still love,
if what you gets not what you want?
can my heart still feel for you
when you go away?

Touch as diamonds,
tender as dreams,
kisses on cheeks,
and the memory of your smell,

Will I still feel the same,
if you're not always close?
will it feel strange to kiss you,
after our time apart?

Wide as oceans,
deep at the soul,
hand in hand,
eyes locked on eyes

The bridge dissapears and I'm standing on air

A love affair with a woman,
spilling seed on a motel bed,
phallus in yoni,
did you have to fuck with your head?

A love affair with a man,
hidden desires brought forth,
heart in love,
did it hurt with such a force?

A love affair with love,
foolish kisses in the moonlight,
soul in soul,
did you always have to fight?

A love affair with life,
running straight into the night,
hand in hand,
did it ever feel right?

A love affair,
everlasting through life and death,
life in death,
did you hold onto your last breath?

For you

The sun shines in a certain way,
upon your fair face,
your golden locks encasing
a perfect smile,
red lips
coveted by mine,
the sun shines from your laugh,
the stars rearrange themselves
when your smile,
your passion is unbridled in
a way that no other passion is,
yet it also hides,
closed behind hidden doors,
I have to search,
I have to find,
it is adventure,
I am adventurous,

This love if a romance,
this love is a fling,
I know you feel it too,
this love is more than just sex
this love is for you,

This poem is lyrical,
this poem it sings,
this poem is spontaneous,
yet it also is carefully
thought out,
planned in my head
for eternity,
my love this poem is true,
this poem is passionate,
this poem is for you,

Harlot in the headlights

Only seventeen,
and caught between the headlights,
always on her knees,
watching all the starlight,

don’t know what it means,
when she says all right,
countless little meanings,
up all night,



You’re my little pill,
the stuff that keeps me lucid,
making sure that I’m sober,
making sure that I don’t lose it,

And you’re my little drug,
my stupid, fucking high,
taking all my pain away,
fucking away my life,

A Taxi Ride Home

Never thought I’d,
hate all the things that I said,
and they’re running round and round in my head,

I can’t,
explain the way that I feel,
‘cause I know it’s not how everyone feels,

and I’m,
trying to figure out the words,
trying to get through all the hurt,

putting plasters on my scabs,
thinking about the times that we had,




And why did you have to go,
and why did you have to leave,
why didn’t I come running,
why didn’t I know,



And you left my heart,
broken on the floor,
and now I’m back for more,

You left my heart,
bleeding at the door,
and now I’m back for more,

Competition

There was a boy,
There was a girl,
They had a story,

They got together,
Six days one date,
Holding hands over pizza,

But there was this man,
And he was a teacher,
He’d calculate the numbers in her mind,

And if I ever see them again,
I’d wish them well,
But I’d tell her,
She broke my heart for the first and last time,
Broke it well,
So it would bleed,

So many ways to being; yet so many ways to lose it all

You’ll push me
and you’ll pull me,
You’ll mould me
like I’m plasticine,

You’ll hit me
lacerate me,
And I’ll fall
right to the ground,

You’ll shout
and I won’t listen,
But it hurts me
all the same,

You’ll threaten
I’ll ignore you,
I won’t try
to play your game,

***
Envoi

And so I’m looking
for new beginnings,
to rid me of the pain,

I’m looking
for the answer,
I’d kill to live again,

My Fever

The medicine hasn’t worked,
I can feel it pumping through my veins,
But it just hurts,


I sat behind the drum set,
Lying in my own bed,
Trying to play your heartbeat so I can feel you,


Lying next to me,
In living ecstasy,
My heart pouring on the floor,


And I will wait,
A thousand lifetimes
If that is all it takes,
To be right there,


Next, to you,
Next, to you,
Next, to you,
Next, to you,


My skin is starting to scratch,
My nails break the skin,
Letting the blood flow,
From my veins,


Staining the white walls,
Spurt after f*cking spurt,
It just hurts,


And I will wait,
A thousand lifetimes
If that is all it takes,
To be right there,

The end of the world

I bet that you’re smiling,
But I cannot see,
I guess that you’re happy,
But you’re not with me,

I thought it was over,
I know that it’s not,
You got over the love,
But I never forgot,

I still feel your embrace,
Your touch on my skin,
I still want to love you,
But you wouldn’t let me in,

I still want to kiss you,
Your lips upon mine,
As our bodies entwined,
And you played with my mind,

This will never happen,
I can dream if I want,
‘Cause this love it has ended,
This love it is gone.

My soul is overflowing...

This ecstatic feeling in my soul is more than I realise,

it’s not just the overflow of emotions that I cannot control,

it’s more than that,

it’s something that I most definitely can control,

it’s like life and love itself have collided,

and like death is no matter anymore,

this.

Is.

Living.

Nothing more,

nothing less.

It is not a higher calling from God,

or some ineffable spirit,

it is simply what is pouring from my soul,

it is simply an emotion,

bursting forth from my delicate inner core,

it is a feeling that we should all strive for,

it is life,

it is lust,

it if love,

I am in love,

not only with life,

but in love with love itself,

I am in love with music,

with alcohol,

with books,

with films,

with sex,

with the world,

why is there a need to be unhappy?

Why not smile all the time,

just because you can?

Why not take everything in your stride,

and let the bad things, be bad things and left on one side,

placed on a shelf ‘till such a time when the life of the human race has lost all purpose,

placed in a box not dissimilar to Pandora’s,

‘cept this one should not be opened.

And this is not a threat,

this is not a plea,

this is the truth,

the gods-honest truth.

So spake the Devil.

And so spake God.

And so spake I.

Ok. So this is a blog for all my writing. I feel the need to get it out in the open. So here it is. All my scribblings that might become something more, all my writings that I like, all my writings that I don't like. Whatever I write that's creative I'm going to post here because I think it might be of some use just to order it.

xx